How to Survive a Wedding without Offending In-Laws or Sacrificing Dignity

Every gentleman should be prepared to properly navigate the experience of a wedding, whether he is the guest, the best man or the groom. Below are just a few things to remember when surrounded by drunken relatives and friends.

Tips for a gentleman attending:

• Wear a suit or tux; it shows respect for the couple and is a good excuse to get dressed up.
• Congratulate the bride and groom and thank them for having you, regardless of whether you’re some stranger there with their distant cousin (if this is the case, don't forget to introduce yourself properly. Their day has been awkward enough already)
• Dance until you’re out of breath
• Thank the parents of the bride and groom, they likely bought the salmon and top shelf drinks you’re enjoying
• Talk to strangers, not just the few people you arrived with.

 A true gentleman should not:

• Drink too much, regardless of whether it is open bar and especially if you plan on toasting in an hour.
• Roast the groom. while a bit of ribbing in a toast is fun, bringing up anything overly personal or embarrassing is distasteful.
• Wear anything that makes you look like a part of the wedding party, unless you are part of said wedding party; plan accordingly.
• Ruin their memories by sneaking into photo backgrounds; its not as funny to their families as it is to you.
• Unnecessarily draw attention away from the bride and groom; its their day and you’ll get yours, hopefully.

 Tips for the Groom:

• Regardless of your fear of public speaking, a true gentleman thanks his guests for attending.
• Chat with your new relatives; you'll be seeing quite a lot of them from now on.
• Buy your suit or tux rather than rent; its the difference between looking like James Bond or looking like a used car salesman.
• Have a drink or two, but maintain control. Slurred speech and falling over will not make your significant other happy.
• Your only job is to dress in a way that doesn’t take an eye away from the bride and to do everything in your power to make her smile.  

Groom's should not:

• Smash cake into your bride’s face. I’m not sure how this started, and it may have been funny and spontaneous the first time, but now its just clichéd and disrespectful.
• Make out in front of your friends, family and priest. Save it for the limo ride.
• Let all of your groomsmen and bridesmaids give speeches if you have more than two of each. Anything more than that is cruel to your guests who have to sit through two hours of increasingly drunken inside jokes; there’s a reason for designating the best man and maid of honor.
• Bang utensils on your glass to get people’s attention. Speak up if you want to be heard
• Show up late. Punctuality is a good rule in general but especially so for nuptials.